To age gracefully, mind your habits

There’s an adage which, when translated, roughly means, “You can’t pray to grow old and at the same time pray not to see evil.” It sounds strange, but the argument here is that the longer you live, the more unusual happenings you are likely to experience.

Psychologists say though age does bring wisdom, it can also bring along certain complications that can be overwhelming, sometimes leading to midlife crisis.

Physicians say if midlife crisis is not handled in mature manner, it can lead to depression as middle age sets in.

Middle age is defined as the period of age beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Precisely, psychologists say, it’s between age 40 and 55, depending on the life expectancy in a particular region.

Scientists warn that despite what anybody might think, midlife crisis is definitely real. Researchers at the IZA Institute for the Study of Labour, in Bonn, Germany, report that people said they felt the least satisfied in their early 40s, which they suspect is the time they’re most likely to go through a mid-life crisis.

While the scientists agree that more research is needed to confirm these findings and determine why people’s happiness levels may take a plunge during these years, a psychologist, Dr. Katherine Muller, says it could be that people find it difficult to accept life at this age.

Again, Consultant Psychiatrist and ex-Medical Director of the Federal Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos, Dr. Rahman Lawal, says that a true midlife crisis usually involves changing your entire life in a hurry.

Symptoms

Lawal says symptoms of midlife crisis include insomnia, fatigue, despair, morbidity, inability to concentrate, ruefulness about roads not taken, dread that life holds no more surprises, regrets, and sharp longing for something or someone.

Indeed, psychologists say that men in crisis often obsess about big questions, such as, ‘Does my life matter?’

Life begins at 40. Really?

In our part of the world, age 40 is usually marked with funfair, especially for women; and 50 years for men. But the celebration is usually accompanied with thoughts of failure or accomplishments. For instance, experts say if by age 40 you are not living in a decent place that actually belongs to you, you may be running late in the race of life. This realisation is one of the things that contribute to midlife crisis, as the individual suddenly feels the urge to ‘catch up.’

Plus, it’s the age when certain milestones start building up: deaths of parents, gradual emptying of the nest, job loss, and so on.

Muller confirms this much. She says, “Often, come our 40s, some undeniable facts start eroding the dubious pillars on which we’ve built our notion of a man.

“We often get our first bolt of serious bad news: the death of a parent, trouble in a marriage, career setback, the transformation of the eight-year-old who thought you were God into the adolescent who thinks you’re the devil. Crushing chest pain and the word ‘biopsy’ can set a fellow to thinking about what he’s done with this life.”

Unstoppable ageing

Scientists say middle-aged adults often show visible signs of ageing such as loss of skin elasticity and greying of the hair.

“Physical fitness usually wanes, with a 5–10kg accumulation of body fat, reduction in aerobic performance and a decrease in maximal heart rate. Strength and flexibility also decrease throughout middle age,” experts note.

Normal transition

Mental health experts however argue that midlife crisis is more likely to be called a midlife transition, which is not bad at all.

A Professor of Psychiatry, Adeoye Oyewole, says, “The term ‘crisis’ often doesn’t fit because while it can be accompanied by serious depression, it can also mark a period of tremendous growth.”

The trick, he counsels, is to realise when the transition is developing into depression so you can get help.

Signs of midlife strife

Signs that you’re going through midlife phase, or that you may, soon, include:

You’ve hit your 40th birthday. Experts who have special interest in issues that affect adults as they age, most often see men struggling with these midlife questions in their 40s and early 50s.
You’re uneasy about major elements in your life. Scientists say this may include not being satisfied with your career, your marriage, or your health; and feeling the urge to take action to make them better.
You feel that your time for taking a new direction is running short. Many men feel a pressing need to make changes, experts say, when they notice that their appearance is changing or their stamina isn’t as high as it used to be; when they become a grandfather; or when a friend or parent dies.
You’re making unusual choices. Men may go through a teenage-like rebellion at this point in their lives, says an American psychologist, Lynn Margolies.
“A sure sign you may be in a midlife crisis is if you are feeling trapped and very tempted to act out in ways that will blow up your life.

“These may include drinking more, having an affair, leaving your family, feeling that your life no longer fits you; when you’re more concerned about your appearance; or when you feel more desire for excitement and thrills,” Adeoye warns.

PUNCH.